Relationship Exit Strategy...

[Thrasha]

With his kid?? No offence but if I was in that kind of relationship, there is no way I would touch her.

they were having a good patch. which with them they always fighting but then ok for a day or 2 then fighting again. In his defence she is a very attractive girl. its just when her mouth opens she isnt hahaha

Typical women. manipulative bitches. they always use kids against you. they think they are toys they can fuck around... they dont realise these children need to be protected, brought up in an environment that is free from all forms of abuse, physical, emotional etc.

my friend was raised in this environment and doesnt want it for his kids, so he tries to get out but is missus is to "mt druitt" if you's know what that means haha local syd siders will know hahaha, but hot... go figure haha

[Tony Montana]

OMG!!! FROM THE MOMENT I GOT UP UNTIL NOW (TONIGHT) MY MRS HAS TALKED ABOUT NOTHING BUT BABIES, GIVING BIRTH, BABIES, BABY CLOTHES, BABIES, NAPPIES, BABIES, BABY FOOD, BABIES, BURPING BABIES, BABIES, BABY PANADOL AND BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

As thier kids grow up - do women grow out of this phase? I guess I am very lucky that she is such a good mother to our child - but it's fucking doing my head in today. Without my "exit strategy" in place I think I may have cracked it, lol.

[micksnowdog]

OMG!!! FROM THE MOMENT I GOT UP UNTIL NOW (TONIGHT) MY MRS HAS TALKED ABOUT NOTHING BUT BABIES, GIVING BIRTH, BABIES, BABY CLOTHES, BABIES, NAPPIES, BABIES, BABY FOOD, BABIES, BURPING BABIES, BABIES, BABY PANADOL AND BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

As thier kids grow up - do women grow out of this phase? I guess I am very lucky that she is such a good mother to our child - but it's fucking doing my head in today. Without my "exit strategy" in place I think I may have cracked it, lol.

let her know where she stands.





lol, j/ks

[Tony Montana]

UPDATE: Apart from a minor "glitch" - everything is going nicely to plan! The glitch is that the settlement on our house sale has been delayed by 3 weeks cause the guy buying our house had some finance issue's which he has now thankfully resolved. However, we have already moved into our friend's rental property, so it's just a case of sitting tight and waiting for the money now.

As I near the BIG EXIT from this relationship, I am focusing on the final steps:

1). I'm working on getting this house's security up-to-scratch. It's pretty good but a few extra locks on the gate, some sensor lights and shutters will finish it off. I guess if my Mrs is going to be living here by herself (with our daughter) I still want to know they are safe and sound.

2). I have opened a new bank account and got a new PO Box for mail redirection. I have been in contact with Child Support Agency and worked out what my commitment is legally. I will pay Child Support PLUS on top of that I will volunteer to pay her car repayments, and insurance's (car, home, health). I'll also pay for her internet and Foxtel - she's gonna be stuck at home a fair bit I guess. Not saying I will do that forever, but I will pay for the additional items for the next 12 months. Fairs, fair. Durng that time she will have to adjust to whatever entitlements she can get.

3). A mate of mine has just broken up from his Mrs and is currently looking for accomodation, this week. He is going to rent a place and keep a room spare for me, so I'll be able to get it all set up and ready to go so I don't end up sleeping in the car, lol .


Stay tuned! Shit is gonna hit the fan soon!

[Thrasha]

UPDATE: Apart from a minor "glitch" - everything is going nicely to plan! The glitch is that the settlement on our house sale has been delayed by 3 weeks cause the guy buying our house had some finance issue's which he has now thankfully resolved. However, we have already moved into our friend's rental property, so it's just a case of sitting tight and waiting for the money now.

As I near the BIG EXIT from this relationship, I am focusing on the final steps:

1). I'm working on getting this house's security up-to-scratch. It's pretty good but a few extra locks on the gate, some sensor lights and shutters will finish it off. I guess if my Mrs is going to be living here by herself (with our daughter) I still want to know they are safe and sound.

2). I have opened a new bank account and got a new PO Box for mail redirection. I have been in contact with Child Support Agency and worked out what my commitment is legally. I will pay Child Support PLUS on top of that I will volunteer to pay her car repayments, and insurance's (car, home, health). I'll also pay for her internet and Foxtel - she's gonna be stuck at home a fair bit I guess. Not saying I will do that forever, but I will pay for the additional items for the next 12 months. Fairs, fair. Durng that time she will have to adjust to whatever entitlements she can get.

3). A mate of mine has just broken up from his Mrs and is currently looking for accomodation, this week. He is going to rent a place and keep a room spare for me, so I'll be able to get it all set up and ready to go so I don't end up sleeping in the car, lol .


Stay tuned! Shit is gonna hit the fan soon!

Tony you are quite a strong man! I dont know how you have held it together for so long! And being willing to pay for all those things on top of looking after yourself is quite a commitment. The fact that you have thought it out this much shows that you are in fact serious and that also you are a caring person as you are not willing to just dump her and move on with your own life but instead still pretty much take care of her. Commend you on that mate!

Can i ask if you's are still 'sleeping' together? If me and my missus weren't intimate she'd know something was up straight away lol.

[Tony Montana]

Tony you are quite a strong man! I dont know how you have held it together for so long! And being willing to pay for all those things on top of looking after yourself is quite a commitment. The fact that you have thought it out this much shows that you are in fact serious and that also you are a caring person as you are not willing to just dump her and move on with your own life but instead still pretty much take care of her. Commend you on that mate!

Can i ask if you's are still 'sleeping' together? If me and my missus weren't intimate she'd know something was up straight away lol.

I dunno if I'm that strong, to be honest quite the opposite.

We've been together for 7 - 8 years and I've been living in limbo for such a long time now. Always arguing with myself, should I stay or should I leave? Quite simply if I was happy I'd just be getting on with life - but instead I live this "what if" life. My biggest fear is that one day I am lying on my death bed and I'll be thinking "What a waste...why didn't you do what you wanted with your life, you miserable bastard!" I guess it's taken a long time, but I am finally at the point where I recognise that my life and my happiness is ultimately my responsibility. I can't blame anyone else, I have everything I need to fix it - I just have to take action.

And Thrasha, when it comes to sleeping together, well that is a fail. I guess mentally I have ended the relationship a long time ago and thus physically I have slowly withdrawn to a point where we do not enjoy any intimacy or sexual relationship whatsoever. Our baby is 9 months old now and we've had sex once since she was born. Prior to that I can count on one hand the number of times we've done it the previous 12 months, so in 2 years we've probably done it 4 times - it's amazing she got pregnant at all really.

[STG]

Holy fuck, you been getting some on the side?

[Tony Montana]

Holy fuck, you been getting some on the side?

I'd be lying if I said "No"... just the odd one here or there .

ANOTHER UPDATE: Settlement for the house sale has finally gone thru... woo fucking hoo! I have been busily getting things sorted out - paying bills and other debts to ensure the Mrs is debt free post break up.

My future housemate and I have applied for a few apartments in the city this week, hopefully we'll get one approved soon! I have been out of the rental market for years - I didn't realise it was all so competitive just to get accomodation! Once we get a pad, I'll set up the place and have it ready to go BEFORE giving the Mrs the big "Goodbye" speech!

Things are starting to move fast now... I'm now at a point where I am really comfortable with the decision. Even when I am having a good time with her I am still confident that I am doing the right thing. I'm not living in limbo anymore - decision is made, 100%. Already I am happier.

On a side note, the Mrs has (finally) come to the realisation that she has some "anger management" issues. She's got some kind of referral from her GP to see a Psych for 5 or 6 visits. It's too late for our relationship but it'll be good for her to address her issues for the future anyway. My "devious" mind is also thinking "...fantastic, when I break up I know she's gonna go nuts and flip her lid - BUT at least I know she'll have professional help available to help her get back on her feet".

At the end of the day I can't do anymore. She will be financially ok, in good long term accomodation, close to support of family and friends and now she's gonna have a shrink to talk to. And I truly believe I am doing her a favour by ending our relationship this is an opportunity for us to BOTH find some happiness - it might take her a whie to come around to that way of thinking but I'm sure she ultimately will.

Either that or she'll hate me forever .

[plexus]

Do you ever worry about the safety of your daughter. Would your wife maybe hurt her to spite you?

[cwat]

Sounds like she's pretty fucked if you leave her..

What's her income gunna be if she aint working?

$10 says she'll hate you for atleast 1 year. I would.

If you flipped the situation around, id be gutted if my bitch left me with a kid.. Who cares if i get a few hundred a week off them.. Im missing out on 100's of thousands of lost income with the kid.. Kids could be cool i spose, i dunno im 24 but if i was to lose the majority of my income to have a kid.. Id be kid-less in a heartbeat.

Sounds like she's planned to be with you for a long time, kids.. House, some sort of family plan. And you're leaving her with fuck all now. Sounds like you were her everything. Without you she is just another single mother.

Im not ripping you in anyway, im just staying sounds like she's gunna be in quite a shit situation very soon.

Suppose its how you look at it tho ay..


You gunna be doing the surprise "im leaving" speech the same day you've pre-planned for 10 of your mates to come over and grab your shit?

Id be wanting to get my belongings out of there pretty quick man. You don't want to leave them in a position where they can refuse you access to your belongings, or have them in their reach to smash etc...

Id be doing the speech in the morning.. Pre organising for my mates to be knocking on the door at a pre-organised time RIGHT AFTER the speech, to save any bullshit.. She might lose her shit, get her mates over then refuse you access to your shit..

Get in, do the speech, grab your shit and leave.. Come back at a later time to go over more fine details..

[Tony Montana]

Do you ever worry about the safety of your daughter. Would your wife maybe hurt her to spite you?

Good question. The short answer is "No". My wife is an excellent mother, caring and very loving. She wouldn't hurt her to spite me. However, this might be a crude analogy, but I view my wife's behaviour pretty much the same as my dog. I trust them both 99% of the time, but under pressure either of them could snap. I don't think it would be either premeditated, vindictive or ongoing. Unfortunately, this seems to be the way the was brought up, and it's little wonder she is replaying the patterns she learnt as a child - hence the reason I'm so glad she is now seeking some professional help.

[Tony Montana]

Sounds like she's pretty fucked if you leave her..

What's her income gunna be if she aint working?

$10 says she'll hate you for atleast 1 year. I would.

If you flipped the situation around, id be gutted if my bitch left me with a kid.. Who cares if i get a few hundred a week off them.. Im missing out on 100's of thousands of lost income with the kid.. Kids could be cool i spose, i dunno im 24 but if i was to lose the majority of my income to have a kid.. Id be kid-less in a heartbeat.

Sounds like she's planned to be with you for a long time, kids.. House, some sort of family plan. And you're leaving her with fuck all now. Sounds like you were her everything. Without you she is just another single mother.

Im not ripping you in anyway, im just staying sounds like she's gunna be in quite a shit situation very soon.

Suppose its how you look at it tho ay..

I thank you for putting a different spin on things.

For those who have followed this thread, they will know that this is a highly thought out plan, lol. From a purley financial perspective, with the funds from our house settlement I have paid off her credit cards, her personal loan and her "interest free" things, she'll have no debts. She will get full child support from me (based on an income of $90kpa). Plus I am going to continue to pay her Car Repayments (brand new Toyota Aurion) and I'll pay her Health, Home and Car Insurance. As she'll be stuck at home a fair bit I thought it only fair that I pay out the next 12 months of Foxtel and Internet bills. I will be paying 3 times the minimum that I am legally required to do. Add to that the fact she will get a "Parenting Pension", Family Tax A & B, Rent Relief, Health Care / Concession Card, etc then believe me she will be doing ok!

In terms of grabbing all my shit, well the only thing I'm leaving with is my clothes. I'll move most of them out before I tell her - she won't notice. I will buy a bed and whatever else I need for the new place. All the household effects every thing from the washer to the dryer, fridge, microwave, plasma's, LCD's, lounge suites, etc, etc, etc... everything we have accumulated over 7 years I am leaving with her and I am leaving "empty handed". But hey, I am cool with that.

[cwat]

I thank you for putting a different spin on things.

For those who have followed this thread, they will know that this is a highly thought out plan, lol. From a purley financial perspective, with the funds from our house settlement I have paid off her credit cards, her personal loan and her "interest free" things, she'll have no debts. She will get full child support from me (based on an income of $90kpa). Plus I am going to continue to pay her Car Repayments (brand new Toyota Aurion) and I'll pay her Health, Home and Car Insurance. As she'll be stuck at home a fair bit I thought it only fair that I pay out the next 12 months of Foxtel and Internet bills. I will be paying 3 times the minimum that I am legally required to do. Add to that the fact she will get a "Parenting Pension", Family Tax A & B, Rent Relief, Health Care / Concession Card, etc then believe me she will be doing ok!

In terms of grabbing all my shit, well the only thing I'm leaving with is my clothes. I'll move most of them out before I tell her - she won't notice. I will buy a bed and whatever else I need for the new place. All the household effects every thing from the washer to the dryer, fridge, microwave, plasma's, LCD's, lounge suites, etc, etc, etc... everything we have accumulated over 7 years I am leaving with her and I am leaving "empty handed". But hey, I am cool with that.

Better situation for her that way..

She won't need much money if you're paying all of those expenses for her.. I over looked that dramatically.

2nd thought.

You're too nice.. Hope this reflects come time when you want to spend time with the kid..

If i were you id also be trying to make all of these payments electronically with receipts printed off for future reference if shit turns bad.

Trust no bitch. If its all cash, she could easily deny it.

[Tony Montana]

If i were you id also be trying to make all of these payments electronically with receipts printed off for future reference if shit turns bad.

Trust no bitch. If its all cash, she could easily deny it.

Hahaha... yeah mate don't worry I'll be making sure this is all documented.

[Tony Montana]

Hey Guys,

I think an update post has been lost when the forum was reset but I won't go over old ground.... suffice to say the "exit strategy" really has only one final move. My new house mate and I secured a rental apartment in the city, it's fully furnished so is ideal. We got the keys on Friday - my mate has already moved in. I have moved a lot of my clothes and some personal items in already and the Mrs hasn't noticed, lol. I even took all my supplements from the kitchen cupboard, she'll probably think I had a clear out or something cause I haven't been training at all for the last 3 - 4 weeks. So I really do feel like I am living a "double life" at the moment, I got 2 sets of keys on my key ring.

Now it's the hard part - the break up!!! I've just got to let her know it's over. I guess the "right" thing to do is to sit her down and quietly explain how I feel. But I wish I could orchestrate one of our usual arguments where she goes psycho, calls me all the names under the sun and then gets so mad she hits me or digs her nails into me like she tends to do. Then I could say "...Right thats it! I am leaving you now, I've had enough! I'm sick of this shit... you are an abuser, get fucked." Storm out and slam the door behind me kinda scenario - that would make it easy!

But I guess either way I am gonna get the tears and all the heartbreak at some stage. This is not any ordinary woman - she will be freakishly devastated and emotional. Then I'll get the "...lets go to counselling" talk! I'm not gonna go into too much detail about my new living arrangments, I'll spin her a line and say "...a mate has got a spare room I'm gonna crash there". She dosen't need to know the details.

I really need to do this... like if I could press a button and it was all done I would NOT hesitate for one second - I would SLAM that button. So I know it's what I want, no questions there. I've been working towards this for months now but I am finding it really hard, maybe I could write a letter? I dunno man, my stomach is in knots when I think about it.... ah man.

[cwat]

Maybe do it in the company of other people?
If you're worried she'll go insane, maybe ring up her best friend and tell her to come over at special time, then do the breakup right before that time, then you leave and in comes the friend to calm her down and let her tears flow etc...

[Tony Montana]

Maybe do it in the company of other people?
If you're worried she'll go insane, maybe ring up her best friend and tell her to come over at special time, then do the breakup right before that time, then you leave and in comes the friend to calm her down and let her tears flow etc...

Good idea... it's now Monday morning and i still haven't done it.

[O.N.]

if you do it today, tomorrow or next week it is still the same and will hurt the same for both of you. so just get th guts up and do it, its the only way.

[Thrasha]

you're wasting money on rent for somewhere u not staying man! hurry up ahhaha jks man i cant begin to imagine how hard it must be! good luck!!!

[RF1964]

Good luck mate. These things are never easy but you've thought it through so do what you think is best for both her, your child and yourself.